I, her, us. #
I have always been lonely. Then I met the one who became my wife.
Then I was less lonely. But we were still distant. I knew what I wanted, intimacy, warmth, trust, connection.
We evolved together. We changed, deeply. We became closer. Change after challenge after obstacle, we became more attuned to each other, more connected, closer.
But I wanted more. More intimacy. More trust. More emotional connection.
I have always been kinky. I felt urges, powerful ones. Some years after we met, I confessed them to her, then, the urges did not leave.
As time passed, we explored things together. It was limited, in time, in practice, and in depth, and then it was less.
Something lacked, still, a level of depth, a connection more profound, which remains after bodies separate.
I understand people’s psyches, their motives, their way of thinking. I understand why people are who they are. I see their limitations, what blocks them.
If I care for them, I want to change them, help them progress. But I don’t care, not for them.
My wife is my life. Our relationship is older than the parts of me that make me myself. If I lost her, I would lose myself.
I care deeply for her. I adore her. I want her to fulfill her dreams. I want her to confront her fears. I want her to grow.
I want more of her, more of us. And I shall be the architect of it.
Couples. #
Husband and wife, sitting on the couch staring at their phone, look up and see each other. Both think “I wonder what’s next for us”. Each goes back to their phone again.
Most relationships go where they started, nowhere. Men and women cheat, fight, blame each other, and are happy letting the other person become what they never wanted to.
It is alright. There is no problem with that.
It would be oppression to try to identify a person’s mental blocks and fears, and make them overcome it.
It would be coercion to make someone behave in a particular way.
It would be a rejection to make a person change from their state to another. Even if they are happier then.
It would be unequal to hold the decision power in a relationship.
It would be imbalanced to assume responsibility for one’s actions.
All of that being unacceptable, all we can do is resort to a perfectly accepting, equal and balanced non-interventionism, to slowly and lovingly, abandon another human being.
Look around you and see where this leads.
From one set of two, to two sets of one.
Peacefully.
Values. #
If you discovered that what you truly sought went against your values, what side of the fight would you pick ?
If you searched for your values and found some other person’s lost property in place of them, would you burn it ?
If you tailored your values to what resonates with you, what would you become ?
I, master. #
I am Adam. I am a master.
Master is defined with regard to someone. My slave. She defines me as much as I define myself. I cannot exist without her.
Master implies that I deserve enough trust for her to recognize me as such, and that she can revoke this title at any moment if I don’t.
Master grants me the responsibility of stability and evolution.
I am responsible for providing a stable state, on any applicable domain, whether it be physical, emotional, financial or any other.
I am responsible for making us evolve, on any applicable domain. This means identifying destinations, pathways, problems and solutions.
Our relation, in its core, is an authority imbalance based on trust.
We have this relationship because we chose to.
Because it reveals something within us that we chose to embrace.
Because it is intense, powerful, and fulfilling.
Because it allows us to improve.
Because it is, for us, an evolutive advantage.